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The word "clarifier" is a bit of a misnomer for these materials we often use to help clean up the look of a beer or to reduce the amount of loose sediment in the bottom of our bottles...more.
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 Brewing 101 Midterm
Any of you who have been regular customers or subscribers for a while know how we occasionally like to turn the tables and answer a question by asking a question... one of those really annoying teaching techniques that makes you feel like you are being given a test rather than an answer. So O.K., were sadists... but isn't admission of one's flaws a major step toward recovery? We admit we delight in seeing the twisted faces of brewers deep in unexpected thought. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... didn't expect to have to think, just because it was Saturday... aahhh, it's so much fun.

This little exercise in "twisted teaching" is simply designed to make you think, not only about what has been presented above but about knowledge you already possess. Almost every brewer we know is more knowledgable about recipes and ingredients than they give themselves credit, or at least possess the fundamentals necessary to make a pretty good stab at it. So here is your test. Hey, it's multiple choice so how bad could you do? The correct answers/recipe choices are provided below. If you're a new brewer and at this point just don't have a clue or if you really thought you did but got a bunch wrong, ask us to explain the next time you are in. Humor us... give it a shot.

This beer should turn out looking and tasting a lot like Newcastle Brown Ale... ahem, unless your answers make it into a Bud, or a Guinness. (P.S. Have a look around the site...all the answers are here. Maybe a "tip" would help.)

Nice Nut Brown Ale

Question #1 ( ) lbs. Pale Malt Extract
a. 5 b. 7 c.11
Question #2 ( ) lb. Crystal 60L
a. 2 b. 1/8 c. 1
Question #3 ( ) lb. Victory (toasted) grain
a. 1/2 b. none c. 1 1/2
Question #4 ( ) lb. Chocolate grain
a. 1/4 b. 3/4 c. 1 1/4
Question #5 ( ) ozs. Fuggle Hops (boil)
a. 1/4 b. 3 c.1
Question #6 ( ) ozs. Fuggle Hops (finish)
a. 3 b. 1 c.2
Question #7 ( ) White Labs Yeast
a. German Ale b. British Ale c. Belgian Abbey

Instructions
Question #8 Steep grains for ( )minutes...
a. 10 b. 30 c. 90
Question #9 ...at a temperature approx. ( ) degrees F.
a. 160 b. 95 c. 212
Remove grains, add malt extract and dissolve. Bring to a simmering boil and add the "boil" hops.
Question #10 Simmer with the "boil" hop for ( ) minutes.
a. 30 - 45 b. 90 c. 110 - 120
Question #11 Add "finish" hop in the last ( ) minutes.
a. 20 b. 30 c. 5
Question #12 Cool beer/wort while keeping
a. stirred constantly b. uncovered c. tightly covered
Question #13 Cool to ( ) degrees F before adding yeast.
a. 90 - 100 b. 70 - 75 c. 50
Question #14 Sit back, relax, and pop open a:
a. MGD b. Cuurs Light c. Newcastle

For those of you saying "just give me a recipe, buttface", we'd like to correct you. We may have a "pigface", a "horseface", or possibly even a "dogface", but we do not have a buttface thank you. Wait 'til the next time you need our help. Buttface indeed...